An Open Letter to Eagles Fans

Jack Merlino

To my fellow Eagles fans out there, here's a message from someone just as frustrated as you are.

Shut up. For 13 seconds, just shut up. And there are so many things to shut up about.

First, let's discuss how the best part of the NFL is knowing exactly how the rest of the season will unfold after two weeks. Like how we all knew, deep down, that the Birds would be headed to the 2003 NFC Championship after their 0-2 start that season, or how we all knew better than to trust that 2012 team that started 3-1 and finished 4-12.

How omnipotent are you that you're ready to tap out 6 quarters into the season? That you already know that Byron Maxwell is just Nnamdi Asomugha reincarnated because he had a terrible first game against arguably the best wideout in football? It's interesting what you want from him, a zone cornerback told to play man coverage every snap. Yeah, it's enraging that he's smiling two times in a row after a loss, but would you rather he pulls a T.O. and begins to stage a mutiny against the coach, which will only ensure a terrible season? 

Next, please shut your mouths about Chip Kelly. I'll start off by asking what exactly you expected from this guy taking the reins from a 4-12 team headed by the best coach in the history of this barren franchise (who, by the way, and don't be so shameless to deny it, you also caterwauled about like a bunch of hungry kittens 24/7 for 10 months a year).

It's becoming clear now that so many of you jumped on the 'racist' bandwagon as an excuse to call for him being fired because you knew deep down that you had no other reason. For those of you who weren't so knee-jerk and shallow to think he's a racist because of his offseason moves, well done. Pat yourself on the back.

Next, find it in yourself to forgive Chip for not winning two Superbowls in his first 2 years with the team. Going back to Reid, he had an unparalleled jump from a bottom-feeding team to a perennial NFC powerhouse in what, 2 years? I guess because Kelly isn't wearing a ring, he's a failure as a coach by comparison?

If this team goes 3-13 during this 2015 season, I still wouldn't fire him, because then who the hell would you bring in to be the coach? Is adopting the Browns/Jets/Raiders/Redskins strategy of filtering in a new guy every 3 years the proper thing to do? I guess it'll be a failed coach looking for his 4th franchise then. Maybe someone like Lovie Smith? Or a bit older and go for Steve Spaguolo or Eric Mangini? At least have the self-respect as a legitimate fanbase to wait until Chip has TWO straight bad records before you start petitioning for him to be thrown out. I hope your simple minds can understand that a lack of consistency in important coaching positions is why the defense was a waste of oxygen for 2 years under 3 different guys, and we watched 2 out of 3 coordinators go off to other cities and develop great defenses.

Finally, you aren't entitled to anything. It's rare to find Philadelphia fans who understand that. What, you think because Philly hasn't won a Superbowl, it's this city's turn? That you're due for one? You know that there are teams who've never been to a Superbowl? Cleveland and Detroit have more to complain about than you do. When's the last time Cleveland even had a winning record? They have 2 winning seasons in the SIXTEEN years since they became active again. Detroit? How miserable do you think they are having Matt Stafford throwing to Calvin Johnson and nothing but an annual Thanksgiving game and a fraudulent loss to the Cowboys to show for it?

You think that the Eagles deserve a hall-of-famer out of every draft? News flash, mouth-breathers: you have to suck if you want high picks. That's why Chip Kelly didn't get his wish in Mariota: he was too good for his own good. AND LET'S GO BACK TO THE DEFENSE! It's terrible, right? You would've shipped Cox, Kendrick, AND TWO 1ST ROUNDERS to the Titans to add a quarterback who'd never played a down of professional football. Instead, you got Sam Bradford, a former NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year, and you still managed to give him unreasonable expectations.

None of you know football more than Chip Kelly. None of you deserve to see a Superbowl come to Philly. If you can't learn to possess a modicum of year-to-year patience, you should take up a new interest. Like Nascar, or something.

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